i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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