All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
