i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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