just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
