I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
