this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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