I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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