She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
