You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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