if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Couch. On fire.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
