ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My life is pants optional.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
