get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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