i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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