Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
