Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
