just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
