if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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