He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
