Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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