I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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