Having a random hookup so left but love u
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
