oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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