I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
