my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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