he shaved USA in his pubs
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
