he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
