im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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