Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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