Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
