Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
