Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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