In the future we'll all be gay
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
