am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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