just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
