Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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