dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
