that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Vodka?
Forever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
