You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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