im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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