I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
