If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
