Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
