thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
