honey bunches of taint.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
