im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
