Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Two words: nipple clamps
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