Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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