i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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