so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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