i was rollin on her like bob the builder
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
