Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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