sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
