I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
